The Defeated

(Editor's note: A picture is worth a thousand words and if I had pictures of the following events, there would be no need for any text)

Sherlan and I were walking into a See's Candies to redeem a gift certificate I had gotten from a co-worker for the holidays. The mall was pretty busy, even though it was New Years Eve, but we had time to kill and I was getting antsy to use the gift certificate before I lost it or put it through the wash. As we walked towards See's, we passed by a Brookstone, and while Brookstone usually has really interesting stuff, I never see anything in a Brookstone that ever really registers in my brain. Except on this fateful, New Years Eve, we saw something that will be etched in our brains until the end of time.

As we walked by Brookstone, we saw a child on a mechanical bull, and while that by itself is not necessarily noteworthy, believe me, it was. First of all, this was not the mechanical bull that you see at bars or restaurants, this was a Brookstone mechanical bull: sleek, metallic, and post modern. (Editor's note: I spent 15 minutes on the Brookstone site looking for this item. This place is maddeningly frustrating, so I apologize for the lack of a link.) Second of all, the kid on the bull did not look like he was enjoying it at all, but at the same time did not look like he wanted to get off or was going to get off. It was a depressing and confusing sight, it was a portrait of mediocrity.

A couple of weeks later, we stumbled into a different mall, but we witnessed a similar result. This time we were at an outdoor mall and the first thing we saw walking in were these trampoline-harness devices. I had seen these devices before, but never at this mall. The object of these devices is simple: you strap yourself in, jump on the trampolines and start flipping until your crotch can take no more. It looks pretty cool if you aren't the one in the harness, but it's pretty painful for you in you're the one strapped in (at least for guys it is). Once again, we saw a child, kind of bored, kind of miserable, but not bothered enough to get out of ther situation.

Recently, we went to go see a performance of the musical, The Music Man, where we witnessed a young child, probably no older than 4, trying to keep up with rest of the cast. He looked lost and maybe a little frustrated. If he weren't an adorable little chubby child, we probably wouldn't have cared much, but he was and he kind of stole the show (not being sarcastic at all). We rooted for him being the underdog that he was and in all honesty, he delivered.

So see the children at the Brookstone, in the trampoline, and at the theatre, it was alarming to see a person to look so defeated, but at the same time, not looking for a way out. I hope for these children, that these situations are isolated and this is not a sign of things to come. To say that your child like faith was lost one fateful day at a Brookstone would just be a travesty.

Korean Democracy Album Update #1

So usually I try to make sure the writing quality on this blog is high and that I write about interesting and funny things in somewhat of a story/essay format. I try not to riff too much on pop culture and I'm dead against showing the results of "What Famous Person Would Are You Most Like?" surveys, but since the creative well has been relatively dry lately, I'm going to write about the progress of my album, which is not going to be called Korean Democracy. I just refer to it as that for kicks.

So I've written one song for the album thus far. I believe it'll open the album. I tend to like to plan out where songs will go as I write them, probably not wise, but I'm a big picture type of guy and that's how it's always been. I haven't decided the number of tracks, but I'm sure it's safe to say it'll be around 10-15. There probably won't be any interludes or reprises, especially since interludes seem kind of weird on a solo album (even though mine is shaping up to be quite collaborative).

So my one song is simple. It doesn't display my improved guitar playing prowess during the past 7 years (I assume there's been some improvement), and it doesn't necessarily show any growth as a song writer (but perhaps I'm not the right person to decide that), but what's important is that it's a starting point. And usually when something gets the ball rolling, everything else kind of falls into place. Also, if this is indeed the song that will open the album, it's not necessarily a bad thing to start with something sparse and simple opposed to blasting someone in the face with a wall of distorted de-tuned guitars (see Masters of the Sonic Arts for that).

So aside from this, all I know is I'm trying to keep the expectations to a minimum. I will try my best not to curb this into a concept album, but I do realize that this will probably be my last album while I'm in my 20s. It's kind of a weird realization but I'm not scared to turn 30 (in 3 years) and I don't see this necessarily as an end. Perhaps it's the thought of buying a house that I fear most. Likewise, getting older doesn't necessarily mean this album has to necessarily be a gentler affair. It'll probably be like a Sebadoh album without the Jason Lowenstein and Eric Gaffney songs (but still not a Lou Barlow solo album). It's the plan I've had ever since I picked up a guitar in high school. So don't be afraid friends, just because I'm growing up doesn't mean that I have to grow old.

This Is Masters of the Sonic Arts

So Spinal Tap parodied big hair metal, Tenacious D parodied disillusioned losers wanting to make big hair metal, and Flight of the Conchords parodied (and continue to parody) folk duos. There's also Christopher Guest's A Mighty Wind which basically covers the bases of any other sort of folk institution parody and there's CB4 to parody the Hip Hop genre.  

Parody is only effective when the subject of parody lacks self-awareness and as far musicians go, hair metal rockers win "the lack self-awareness in both in appearance and their egos" award by a landslide.  Exhibit A: Guns and Roses - Chinese Democracy.  Exhibit B:  My free Dr Pepper courtesy of Exhibit A.  Though gangsta rappers who've been shot 9 times and can still live to rap about it, come up a close 2nd.  Rappers who freak out at award shows are a distant 3rd.

There seems to be a gold mine that Hollywood (or HBO for that matter) hasn't touched.  The noise rocker.  Maybe it's because there is this subtle sense of self-awareness is us noise rockers (that's right, I'm one too).  Do we really believe that we are making sounds that only the truly gifted can understand?  I think so... At least, I think so enough to buy a bunch of effects pedals and an E-bow.  Or maybe I do.  I don't know.  I think I need to change my name to Quezecoatl Napoleon III and claim I'm from New Pangea first.  We'll see.

I really do take making noise rock seriously.  I think the Masters of the Sonic Arts are definitely a worthwhile endeavor (you can call us MOSA for short).  We take the music seriously (though much of it is unscripted), and the feedback so far has been quite positive.  But can I really go up there in a Bape t-shirt as Ryan Pak or do I need to go up there in a costume with an alter ego?  Will Ryan be accepted as a noise savant, or do I need to be someone much more pretentious like a Mortimer Ezekiel.  It's like Ezra Koenig from Vampire Weekend.  Would they be indie-darlings if his name was Billy Johnson and he wore a New York Islanders jersey all the time?   I know that he's using his real name but I think the same principal applies, which is why I think that noise rock will never fulfill their parody potential.

  

I think we're past the point of being full of ourselves.  I feel like we're trying to fit a mystique and that we can no longer create it.  There're no more crygasm bands, no more alter egos Ziggy Stardust, no flamboyant Freddy Mercury operatic singing, no more bat shit crazy Frank Zappa, and no more Slash guitar solos being filmed on the top of mountains.  It's just have Me and Ezra fitting our genres to a 'T'.  

Going for the Gold

I've never been able to find my niche with New Years Eve. It sounds silly, but I don't think I've ever spent it with the same people or doing the same thing. Sure there's a countdown at some point but that's it. I don't even sing Auld Lang Syne or come up with crazy resolutions, I just go through the motions and that kind of makes me sad.

So this past New Years Eve, I decided that I'd make an honest effort to find some sort of tradition that I can carry with me in my single years. I can't say I'll be spending New Years Eve '09 with the same people that I spent New Years Eve '08 with but I think it'll be safe to say that in a year, I will find someone to enjoy some scotch with.

I've been getting into scotch for the past few months and it's been an exciting journey. I haven't been drinking alone, I've been mostly drinking scotch with Sherlan. We decided to cap 2008 with a bottle of Johnny Walker Green. While perhaps not a "high roller" bottle of scotch, it was more "higher end" than anything we'd previously experienced and I found it fitting to end the year with something new, and since we ended 2008 with something new, I hope to end 2009 likewise, with a bottle of Johnny Walker Gold. (*Disclaimer, we didn't drink the entire bottle of Green, nor will we aspire to drink an ENTIRE bottle of Gold in 09).

A bottle of Gold is pricey, but I think my aspiration for every new year is to have a better year than the last year. So hopefully in 2010 I'll be sipping on a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue without having to "save up" for it. (approx $150 a bottle) And while I would like to say "hopefully I'll be drinking this scotch with my future wife", or "I'm drinking this with the friends I will live my life with until I die", I know these are things that are out of my control. The thing I do have control over is that I will be sipping scotch as that big ball drops in Time Square every year.