The Grind Date

I've never been on a blind date. I've been rejected more times than I'd like to admit, but the opportunity has never presented itself to go on a blind date or be setup with someone. I'm not sure if I would take the opportunity if it ever came up, not because I think it's weird or because I look down on it, I just think that it's not the best environment for me to showcase myself as an interesting person to be in a relationship with. There's a weird expectation that comes with being setup with someone you've never met, whether it be via a close friend or eHarmony, that would stress me out, like if I'm not compatible with the person, that would make me believe that something was wrong with me. "eHarmony said we're compatible but I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a dick!" Being set up is kind of weird because if you fail, you feel like you're failing your friend, or you feel like your friend doesn't know you at all, or is a total prick playing a prank on you.

Plus, I kind of like to find out that I have common interests with people organically so I find them as a pleasant surprises. I like the exercise of seeing how many times I can say "me too!" in a conversation and be sincere about it. Being set up or using eHarmony has a lot of "yeah, I know [insert name] told me" or "yeah, i read that in your profile", and that's just no fun for me, but I must admit watching a blind date from a distance is WAY fun.

In sophomore year of college, I ate out a lot with my friend Phil, (now of Percolator fame). We didn't veer off to many exotic places, usually settling for the cheap and the convenient. One place we often ate at was a Thai restaurant, Thai Spice, which wasn't exactly fast food, but not fancy either, so we were surprised to be sitting next to a couple on their first (blind) date on a Friday night. There weren't any other places to sit at and we didn't know they were on a first date, or a date at all, and we certainly didn't care. We had other things to talk about (nothing of incredible importance) and we were very good at entertaining ourselves, but at one point we grew silent, not because we didn't have things to talk about, but because the conversation next to us became so entertainingly painful.

"So I like to go to concerts."
"Oh cool."
"So there's the band you go to see, and then there's a band before that."
"Okay."
"That's called an opening act."
"Right..."
"So the opening act goes on for like half an hour before the main band goes on."

And at one point the girl had a really awkward realization and said to him "I think you've been talking this entire time." and I'm not sure how Phil and I were able to keep our composure and return to our conversation. Obviously going on a date is difficult and I'm sure most guys look like asses when they're the one in the middle of it, I'm sure I'm no better. It made me feel bad for the guy and made me wonder why humans have to be so complex, why we need dating services and our friends to set us up with their friends. Why can't we just be like the animals and smell each others' butts and have the females present themselves when they're ready? Wait, that's called a dive bar. Nevermind. I'm signing up for eHarmony right now.