Molly Want a Cracker?

I occasionally hang out with Molly a couple of times a year because we have a mutual friend, a mutual friend who I think was trying to hook us up at some point, since we both consider ourselves writers. Alas, we are not Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida, unless Dave Eggers' feelings for his wife fall somewhere between contempt and pity. I don't blame my friend for thinking it was a good idea, eHarmony thought the same thing.

The last time the three of us hung out, we went to a restaurant for happy hour. It was sometime after my trip to New York, where I came back with the first pieces of what is now known as my technicolor wardrobe. So I was sporting one of my pastel hoodies and wearing a couple of shiny rhinestone rings to match my hoodie. These rings don't look like real jewelry and I wear them unapologetically.

I never thought a $5 ring (which was bought for me as a gift) could stir up so much controversy but it did. Molly would just go on and on about how "gay" it made me look. It definitely made me look silly and I was and am still clearly aware of that. I didn't mind the teasing for the most part, it was Molly's crudeness that took things way too far. Perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised since most of my interactions with her have been unpleasant at best, but I figure at some point I'm going to have to see something positive in her since my friend must have some sort of positive opinion of her.

Molly decided to cross the line when she flagged down our waiter to ask him his opinion if my ring was "gay". He looked at me, looked at the ring, and said "no, it matches his hoodie." Instead of thanking him for his time and letting him go back to his job, she persisted by once again asking "are you sure that you don't think that it looks gay? It looks so gay!" He was confused and I just felt embarrassed, not because of self doubt, but because I had some sort of relationship with this girl. This girl who didn't realize that she wasn't going to get the answer she wanted to hear no matter how many times she asked, who didn't realize that this waiter was not going to risk losing his job by insulting one of customers even if he did feel that way. She had turned the restaurant into a school yard and was doing her best to bully her way to popularity but no one was biting.

I didn't see or talk to Molly for a very long time after that. I wasn't avoiding her or angry, she just has a tendency to disappear for months at a time. She usually reappears after she's been mistreated by some guy and then subsequently dumped. Then, she finds me and tells me that she's going to write some sort of masterpiece. This has been her cycle for as long as I've known her, and it's a cycle that I even recognize even though I don't know her very well.

First there was the screenplay she wanted to write and then it was a book. The screenplay was going to be "like Garden State" and then to book was going to be "like Life of Pi, because I think my style is like the author of that book". After realizing that she always wanted to write something like something else, I told her to find her own voice. I told her that it didn't matter how well she wrote (let me be on the record that I haven't seen enough of her writing to have an opinion), she needed to have a voice. She would counter my argument by telling me things she learned about writing. "A lot of stories are pretty much the same, but they're just told differently" was her big epiphany that I subsequently deflated, since that's what kids learn in English class freshmen year of high school*.

I tried to help her without discouraging her too much. It wasn't my place to tell her whether I thought she should pursue writing or not. It would be a moot point since she lacks any sense of self-awareness. Her problem with my rings didn't stem from homophobia or because she thought she had encountered a fashion faux paux, her problem was her inability to accept someone being so comfortable in their own skin. This is not to say that I don't have any or less insecurities and hang ups than anyone else, but perhaps it magnified how insecure she was, because I wasn't trying to dress like anyone, I was just being me.

*(http://changingminds.org/disciplines/storytelling/plots/conflicts.htm)

A Difference of Opinion

Unfortunately, I don't travel much. I'm hoping to rectify this in the very near future. When I do make a trip, it doesn't seem to be so much about the sights, as it is about the food. Perhaps it because of all the Food Network that I watched when I was unemployed, or because I'm a stuck up foodie in general, I don't seem to care so much about the tourist traps and really tall buildings, as impressive as they are. I rather photo document what I've eaten opposed to where I've been, which is strange since I do appreciate fine art and architecture, but I guess the best way to get a feel for the local color, is to find the best local food around.

Now with the TV (Food Network and the Travel Channel) and the internet, especially with sites like Yelp!, it's easier and easier to find the best local diners. Of course nothing trumps getting a word of mouth recommendation. Sometimes a restaurant will have a high rating because they make a particular dish well, and that dish, no matter how well made it is, might not be your cup of tea. It's nice to have someone that can tell you exactly what's good and what's not so you can get a better feel for why it's rave-worthy.

Of course, sometimes, you'll get advice from people whose opinions you find suspect and it's hard to shoot down their opinions because food is something that people seem to be very passionate about. That is why you often hear "you have to try this!" opposed to "yeah, it's good but whatevs." Conflicting foodie views have caused friendships to dissolve and have probably caused wars between nations, probably. You know, they're the ones who'll request steak sauce for their steak at a high end steak house or they don't like avocado egg rolls because they lack meat. It's usually not too difficult to separate the foodies from the fakers but it takes a delicate touch to let them know. Unfortunately it's a touch that I don't have.

When I was working retail, a few of my co-workers had returned from a trip to the Bay Area. They weren't guys who I was especially close to or even friendly with, but when they found out that the girl I had started dating lived in the Bay Area, they had no issue with soliciting opinions about where I should go eat. Though I wasn't particularly fond of these guys (one was kind of whiny, one was a brat, and the third one just kind of creeped me out: he once poured out his heart to me saying that the three things that make him happy in life are chocolate, sex, and sailing - good for him), we were at work and I typically put up with these type of conversations to help pass the day.

They raved about one place, and one place only. It was a Chinese restaurant. I don't remember the name of the place, but I remember them giving me a card. To give them credit, it was not a card for PF Changs. I told them I'd talk to the girlfriend about it, but she'd probably knew of some good Chinese restaurants as well, since she was... Chinese. Unfortunately that was not sufficient reason for me to not go to this restaurant. It annoyed me since I was willing to try this restaurant if my girlfriend wanted to, but since this was a new relationship, and she didn't live in San Francisco, I didn't want to demand things. Of course that doesn't matter. We NEEDED to go there.

The fact that my girlfriend was Chinese should've been the biggest tip off to these co-workers that their advice wasn't needed, and I tried to explain this to them. She lived their her entire life, her family and extended family are all in the Bay Area, and the Bay Area has a huge Chinese population, if not the biggest in the United States. Couple this with the fact that my co-workers weren't from the Bay Area and most likely found this place on accident doesn't really help matters. "There was a line going out the door" would be their rebuttal, but isn't everything in downtown San Francisco like that on a weekend around dinner time?

I'm not sure how the discussion ended. I just know I ended up taking the card. We never went to that restaurant and I'm sure I took a lot of flak about it from my co-workers. I'm sure we had discussions about food after that, even though no particular conversations come to mind. I'm sure they still remember the fact that I dismissed their idea, even though I had total justification to do so, since everybody's a critic, even if you they're not.

Chris and Ryan go to the Wiltern

I'm a pretty religious man, while Chris is pretty much on the agnostic side. Well, Chris is just kind of apathetic towards life in general, so I'm not quite sure he believes anything exists these days, but what I am sure about, is that he would agree with me that God has quite a sense of humor. If he didn't, why would The Wiltern be smack in the middle of what is now known as Korea Town?

The Wiltern is a historic theater, and even if it wasn't surrounded by all things Korean, would still be one of my favorite places to see a show. Everyone from Brian Wilson to The Streets has performed there and it's always been a great experience. What enhances the experience even more for Chris and myself is the fact that we get to eat a pretty delicious meal beforehand. In a way, I feel like the Wiltern was made for us, a couple on Korean-American indie rock loving kids, and since we don't live in Los Angeles, don't get tired of either The Wiltern or the Korean food that Korea Town has to offer. It's our home away from home.

Unfortunately for the hipster crowd, Korean food isn't really in vogue (with the exception of the BBQ, which is always in vogue for the gluttons). So when they arrive to the Wiltern early, they're usually searching for the nearest Subway or McDonalds. They're easy to spot with their confused looks, plaid shirts, unkempt hair, and skinny jeans. It's understandable. I'd never go into a place where I or and the rest of my party couldn't read the signs or the menus. Plus with all the smelly cabbage and spicy tofu, I'm not sure that's what a Korean food first timer wants to eat right before bouncing up and down to Animal Collective.

Chris and I usually eat at BCD Tofu house (spicy Korean tofu soup) and now there's Mr. Pizza Factory, a Korean pizza place. What's makes the pizza Korean? Sweet potato paste in the outer crust and some gourmet combonations (seafood, baked potato theme, etc). It's definitely not for the health conscious, though probably healthier than eating pounds of short ribs in one sitting.

The last time Chris and I were at the Wiltern for a show was for Death Cab for Cutie on the Transatlanticism "victory lap" tour. We went to BCD and ate tofu with a side of short ribs. This was the 2nd time I had seen Death Cab for Cutie, but the first time at The Wiltern. This was almost 5 years ago, we barely still qualified as student (Chris was finishing up, I had one class to complete), and Death Cab for Cutie was just starting their ascent to the mainstream. This wasn't the last time that I saw the band in concert (Bridge School, 2006), but it's the last time that I've been to the Wiltern. Chris and I will be going back there tonight to see Grizzly Bear for the first time. I can't promise that we'll be blown away by the band tonight (but I'm sure we will), but I can promise that after 5 years, we will go through the same routine of eating a hearty Korean meal before heading to the show, and it will feel just like it did 5 years ago, and that's what a home is all about.