Stop Following Me

There's the corner office. That's what you aim for when you work in an office. If you can't get that, then you shoot for some other sort of status symbol to show that you're superior to others. For some, it's their own office (versus a cubicle), or an office with a lot of windows. For a certain co-worker of mine, it's having computer speakers. This probably doesn't sound like a very big deal, but it is. The issue here is not jealousy, it's the fact that my co-worker has one of the worst tastes in music of anyone that I've ever met.

There's a difference between a bad taste and music and just a different taste in music. My co-worker listens to ethnic techno music. I don't really care for it and if this is all he was listening to all day, I would consider this a "different" taste in music. This is not the reason I consider their taste in music bad. I consider their music taste bad because they like to listen to the equivalent of the "NOW! That's What I Call the Worst Songs of the 90s mix". When Kurt Cobain unexpectedly passed in April of 1994, not only did he leave a void in the hearts of his fans, but he also left a void in the playlists of radio stations across the country, leaving programmers to scrounge around for sad and sometimes angsty music. That's the only sound logic for the sudden rise and fall of bands like Live and Collective Soul.

If my co-worker had decided to listen to headphones while listening to these songs, I wouldn't care, but I don't blame him for taking advantage of his speakers. I just show a little more tact for my co-workers in earshot. This is why you don't hear prog metal being blasted at 11 from my laptop. (Yes, that's right. I'm finally cool enough to listen to metal.) As critically beloved and awesome as Mastodon is, I don't expect it to be accepted in a work setting. It might just be considered a bit distracting.

Unfortunately for some reason, these songs do not affect my co-worker like they would a normal person. Usually upon hearing a song like "Lightning Crashes", I feel like someone is taking a dentist's drill to my ear drums, and then to my brain. From what I've surveyed from my friends, that song elicits similar reactions for them. So, I must understand that my co-worker doesn't find these songs offensive. The best I can do is to throw on my headphones and try to not let this affect my working relationship. Music, aside, we get along great.

A couple of days ago, his playlist of music gave me a grand idea. I asked my friends on Twitter to help compile a list of terrible alternative rock songs from the '90s. Most of my entries came from what I was hearing from my co-worker's computer, so one of my entries happened to be "December" - Collective Soul. My friends helped me get to about 20 songs before we stopped, and then I noticed that I had some new followers. I used to have my privacy settings set to have me verify all new followers but I decided to relinquish that since I don't really talk about anything all that private on Twitter, like my social security number and PIN numbers. So now when I get new followers, I am not informed who they are until I check on them. Somewhere during this list making session, I started being followed by a band, and not just any band. I started to get followed by the official Twitter of the band Collective Soul.

So somewhere during my list session, my mention of Collective Soul popped up on the public timeline, and I guess they thought I was a fan, which I'm obviously not. At least I hope that's what they thought. If not, I guess I should watch my back at all times, since I'm probably public enemy #1 on the list of Collective Soul, the most beloved band of all time. Hey, if I could survive them at the height of their powers as an awkward adolescent, I'm sure I'll be fine now. Bring your worst you inoffensive emotive band, I'll be ready.